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There are many people in the real world who will have flings with non-masculine, trans individuals, or people of color, but will want nothing to do with them beyond that. That is the true obstacle of being dealing with gender expression, race, or any other minority status in the dating scene. Those are clearly extreme examples, but the point is that simply because someone finds you attractive does not mean that they view you as your equal or accept you completely. The same occurred during American slavery. Never forget that Nazi soldiers routinely raped Jewish women. People who would disregard or disrespect you and those similar to you online are not the people that you want to be spending time with in the real world regardless of how much interest they might show in you. However, the fact that they experience this treatment less overtly in the real world does not mean that you should feel that social expectations and stigma aren't things that you will have to keep in mind when socializing in the real world. Non-masculine, non-cisgender, and non-white LGBTQ individuals face a large amount of disrespect and prejudice in online/dating settings because they do not fit into the popularized ideal of male beauty. I agree with the sentiment that dating sites do not reflect reality in many cases, but it doesn't mean that the phenomenon that you find on there is unimportant.